My Cat Loves Drunk People

Lizzie was standing beside the door, a baseball bat held tight in her hands. She was trembling. The knob kept moving and she could hear someone struggling outside the door. She hadn’t turned on the lights so as not to alert the person that was trying to break into her flat. Ruby, her Siamese cat, was looking at her from the sofa, eyes gleaming in the dark. 

While Lizzie was distracted looking at her, the door flew open and a figure stumbled in. The light from the hallway blinded her, so she could only see a tall, bulky shadow zigzagging towards and armchair and collapsing there. She stood frozen as her eyes adjusted to the light again. And then the shadow spoke. 

“Hey, man! Thanks for letting me crush here tonight!” The voice was deep and cheery, dragging the words like it was difficult to get them out. “Your house is great, dude. Can I have the couch? I don’t think I will make it to a bed.” He was clearly drunk. He tried to get up but just crumbled back down. “Hey, Matt, you think you could help me out here?” 

The poor guy didn’t even realise that he was at the wrong place and all Lizzie could do was stand there, petrified. She could see him a little better now. He was wearing a black tuxedo, with a crooked bowtie. His shirt had a little wine stain at the collar. He looked like he had been at a wedding. 

A sudden movement finally made her react. Ruby had jumped into the stranger’s lap and curled up there. “Hey there, kitty. I didn’t know you had a cat.” He scratched her behind the ear and she started to purr softly. That somehow calmed Lizzie. She sighed, closed the front door and switched the lights on. 

“C’mon buddy, let’s take you to a bed.” She left the baseball bat by the door and tried to help him out of the armchair, but before she took two steps she heard a snore. The boy had fallen asleep, with his head dangling and Ruby still in his lap. Lizzie sighed again and took the cat in her arms. “What should we do, huh?” 

15 minutes and a lot of effort later, the stranger was lying on her sofa, his shoes neatly stacked by the door and a blanket covering him. He hadn’t even woken up in the process. Lizzie looked at him, life was definitely unpredictable. She would deal with him in the morning, she decided. So she switched off the lights and headed to bed too.